The Same Questions Over and Over

Sleeping through the night:

What's up with all of these people whose babies sleep through the night? 'Cause I don't know any of them.

I would love to have started a tally the day Carter was born just to keep track of how many times I was asked: is he sleeping through the night? I'm betting that I've heard that question, oh, maybe a hundred times at least. Are these people just mean? Just wanting to confirm that their non-sleeping baby experiences were normal? Or are they just making fun of us?

I should have a t-shirt made up that reads: "NO! He doesn't sleep through the night! If you couldn't tell by the bags under my eyes, my unwashed hair and the fact that I'm wearing the same outfit this morning that I wore yesterday to go grocery shopping and then slept in, then maybe you are just plain stupid!"

But that would just prove that I'm really close to losing it...and that fact, well, we're trying to hide it from the general public.

I have news for you. BABIES WHO BREASTFEED DON'T SLEEP THROUGH THE NIGHT! Not until 9-10 months. Check with your pediatrician, check with La Leche, check with Dr. Sears. Sleeping through the night isn't typical.

And please, do not bring up the book Babywise to me. My baby isn't an assembly-line worker. He does not need to be on a schedule. He's on a schedule that works just fine for him...his own! Sometimes we sleep a couple of hours in a row, sometimes five or six. I just chalk it up to growth patterns, congested noses, and the fact that...HE IS A BABY!

Breastfeeding:

The question of how long I will be breastfeeding Carter is another sticky point. Since he's now only 3 months old and still deemed young enough to nurse by the conservative masses, I have only been asked this question a few times and by friends who mean no harm. I am however steeling myself for this question when he's a year old (or older) and some disapproving soul, who has had no positive boob time themselves, asks. My answer, and I admit, I have borrowed it from someone else....How long will Carter breastfeed? Well, if he goes away to college, I guess we'll have to figure something out.

Crying it out:

This would be another issue (or one of the many soapboxes my husband is constantly tripping over) that makes me a little CRAZY.

When Carter cries, he is picked up and his needs are met. He doesn't have to cry for very long for food, a dry diaper, or a change in scenery. His only job right now is to learn that mommy, daddy and other adults around him make him feel happy, safe, warm, and keep his tummy full.

Studies show, yes I am going down that road, that babies whose needs are met and who don't "cry it out" are more independent, trusting, empathetic, and creative than babies who learn to soothe themselves.

When Carter is old enough in a few months to entertain himself, he will start to hear the words, "you're okay, mommy will be right there, she's making dinner" and rumor has it, he will know, based on his past history of being taken care of, that he is okay and that someone will be with him in a few minutes.

And the truth is...I can't stand to hear him cry.